I’ve been trying really hard to make my music career kick off with the one person I love singing with. The way our voices harmonize together…the way I feel when I sing with her is a feeling I can never get enough of. But it seem that just because someone can sing doesn’t mean that’s what they want to do in life. I realized that last night…So in this post, I want to take the time to say that I’m sorry for putting you through something that made you stroll down memory lane. I’m sorry for bringing up the past you so long to forget. You only like to sing when your alone and you’re not feeling the best in spirits. I love to sing whenever I have the chance. I realized last night the reason why you so often cut me off when I want to play my music, the reason you hardly ever want to practice with me, and the soul cause of your disgust of it almost. I feel like a horrible person… When I sang for you today to show you my progress, I could just feel the knots in my stomach from all the pain I was putting you through.. I think that’s why I couldn’t remember the words too much when I just finished practicing..With every chord strummed, and with every note sung, I only want to dedicate to you. But instead, I remind you of when your life was a whole lot better. If I would have known, I would have never have put you through more pain then you’ve already been through…If you should somehow stumble upon this one day, I want you to know that I’m terribly sorry..and though it may not be a part of you much anymore, its a huge part of me. Even if you never hear my music again, every chord strummed, and every note sung will always be dedicated to you, and only you.
- Fallen Things & Broken Dreams
I know what it’s like to be broken. I’ve sat and watched the very people I love get torn apart. I used to be the guy who’s smile could light up anyone’s day. But now, all I do is bring chaos wherever I go. I was an average kid, got good grades, but hated school. Had friends, but none to open up to. I was the type of kid who had a mother no one could ever forget. The type to get in everyone’s face when it came to her children. But even though she loved her children, her most dearest son, tied me up to a post out backyard, and beat me like I was Jesus being crucified all over again. All the people heard my screams, but continued to watch awestruck, and did nothing to stop it. the scars that were left on me are since gone, but the scars never healed on the inside. And because of that, You have “Broken Little Me”. I swore from that moment on I would do nothing but make others around me laugh, even if I had to hide what I was feeling inside, as long as I made others happy that shed a little light on me. As time progressed, I soon started to feel the effects of my trauma creeping ever so slowly like poison seeping through my veins. I started to hate myself for hiding it for so long, I started to hate everything around me and as everything started to spiral downwards, you came and you saved me from the depths of my despair. you showed me many things that I would not ever have come to terms with. Everyday I open my eyes to see that person I hold very dear to my heart. “But Why?” she asks… “Why do you treat me like this?” I don’t give her an answer. As I walk out of the door the reason is so clear in my mind: I’m broken. but just like you say: “No one will ever understand.” I’ve been driven on hatred for so long that the kindness in my heart has gone. I cant make anyone feel better when they are upset. I cant make someone smile when they cry. I lost the piece of my heart that everyone took advantage of. Now that its gone, all of you are begging for it back. It won’t come back until someone shows ME that THEY understand, and hear with their heart, not just their ears.
-Fallen Things & Broken Dreams