It was once so right
But now so wrong
How could we lie to ourselves for so long?
I don’t wanna feel hurt
I don’t wanna feel pain
I just want her to love me the same…
They said that I was blind
That you’re wrong choosing this
Everyone said that it was temporary bliss…
But I know it was true
I’ll hold on to our memories tight
I’ll always remember when it was once so right…
-Fallen Things & Broken Dreams
I’ve grown used to the fact that people that I get close to will soon learn to hate me. I’ve done so much to help countless others, but good things never come my way. Once that good thing was in my grasp, I choked up. What the hell is wrong with me?
I had everything I’ve been dreaming for my entire life and in an instant, it was gone. My feelings don’t matter at this point…all what matters is what I’ve done, and what I continue to do. I was a fool to think I’d be good enough. I was wrong for hiding myself. Now I must pay the ultimate price once again, and I don’t think I’ll make it this time…
If I had a choice to rid myself of people life and minds, I would..after everything I’ve done…this life would be a lot better without me…I try to make amends, but nothing I do will be worth it.. I’m disgusted with myself.
What have I done…?
I still try to forget the things that have hurt me the most. The reason for all my pain…my suffering…is me. I’ve come to reason with myself about lot of things, and I’m beginning to learn a lot about myself. The only thing I have to make amends with is the divine, and most elegant womant I’ve ever met. The changes she’s made in her life blinded me from seeing the one I fell in love with, and clouded the good times…the way we used to be. I remember the last time we were totally and completely in love was the New Year. When I requested a song of my feelings to you.. Your eyes illuminated with love and I remember at that moment, I made a resuloution to do everything I could to keep us together in this new year. Because I never wanted that glow in your eyes leave…I haven’t done a great job..actually I’ve done a horrible job of keeping us together. When I look at you, all see is everything I’ve said and done to make you hate me. I can never say sorry enough for you to forgive me my love..but if you really need to walk away from us for now, I’ll understand. I don’t want you stay because you think I’ll hurt myself. I can handle myself better now. I just want you to tell you thank you, thank you for showing me that everyone isn’t gonna hurt me, showing me how to forgive and let go, how to see the bright and endless possiblities that I can achive if I work hard, and most importantly thank you for showing me what its like to actually be me again… I love you, and just know I’ll get there, Its almost within reach…
- Fallen Things & Broken Dreams -
Picture of me!