It was once so right
But now so wrong
How could we lie to ourselves for so long?
I don’t wanna feel hurt
I don’t wanna feel pain
I just want her to love me the same…
They said that I was blind
That you’re wrong choosing this
Everyone said that it was temporary bliss…
But I know it was true
I’ll hold on to our memories tight
I’ll always remember when it was once so right…
-Fallen Things & Broken Dreams
I’ve grown used to the fact that people that I get close to will soon learn to hate me. I’ve done so much to help countless others, but good things never come my way. Once that good thing was in my grasp, I choked up. What the hell is wrong with me?
I had everything I’ve been dreaming for my entire life and in an instant, it was gone. My feelings don’t matter at this point…all what matters is what I’ve done, and what I continue to do. I was a fool to think I’d be good enough. I was wrong for hiding myself. Now I must pay the ultimate price once again, and I don’t think I’ll make it this time…
If I had a choice to rid myself of people life and minds, I would..after everything I’ve done…this life would be a lot better without me…I try to make amends, but nothing I do will be worth it.. I’m disgusted with myself.
What have I done…?
I still try to forget the things that have hurt me the most. The reason for all my pain…my suffering…is me. I’ve come to reason with myself about lot of things, and I’m beginning to learn a lot about myself. The only thing I have to make amends with is the divine, and most elegant womant I’ve ever met. The changes she’s made in her life blinded me from seeing the one I fell in love with, and clouded the good times…the way we used to be. I remember the last time we were totally and completely in love was the New Year. When I requested a song of my feelings to you.. Your eyes illuminated with love and I remember at that moment, I made a resuloution to do everything I could to keep us together in this new year. Because I never wanted that glow in your eyes leave…I haven’t done a great job..actually I’ve done a horrible job of keeping us together. When I look at you, all see is everything I’ve said and done to make you hate me. I can never say sorry enough for you to forgive me my love..but if you really need to walk away from us for now, I’ll understand. I don’t want you stay because you think I’ll hurt myself. I can handle myself better now. I just want you to tell you thank you, thank you for showing me that everyone isn’t gonna hurt me, showing me how to forgive and let go, how to see the bright and endless possiblities that I can achive if I work hard, and most importantly thank you for showing me what its like to actually be me again… I love you, and just know I’ll get there, Its almost within reach…
- Fallen Things & Broken Dreams -
All I do is hope and pray..
I’ve been trying really hard to make my music career kick off with the one person I love singing with. The way our voices harmonize together…the way I feel when I sing with her is a feeling I can never get enough of. But it seem that just because someone can sing doesn’t mean that’s what they want to do in life. I realized that last night…So in this post, I want to take the time to say that I’m sorry for putting you through something that made you stroll down memory lane. I’m sorry for bringing up the past you so long to forget. You only like to sing when your alone and you’re not feeling the best in spirits. I love to sing whenever I have the chance. I realized last night the reason why you so often cut me off when I want to play my music, the reason you hardly ever want to practice with me, and the soul cause of your disgust of it almost. I feel like a horrible person… When I sang for you today to show you my progress, I could just feel the knots in my stomach from all the pain I was putting you through.. I think that’s why I couldn’t remember the words too much when I just finished practicing..With every chord strummed, and with every note sung, I only want to dedicate to you. But instead, I remind you of when your life was a whole lot better. If I would have known, I would have never have put you through more pain then you’ve already been through…If you should somehow stumble upon this one day, I want you to know that I’m terribly sorry..and though it may not be a part of you much anymore, its a huge part of me. Even if you never hear my music again, every chord strummed, and every note sung will always be dedicated to you, and only you.
- Fallen Things & Broken Dreams
I know what it’s like to be broken. I’ve sat and watched the very people I love get torn apart. I used to be the guy who’s smile could light up anyone’s day. But now, all I do is bring chaos wherever I go. I was an average kid, got good grades, but hated school. Had friends, but none to open up to. I was the type of kid who had a mother no one could ever forget. The type to get in everyone’s face when it came to her children. But even though she loved her children, her most dearest son, tied me up to a post out backyard, and beat me like I was Jesus being crucified all over again. All the people heard my screams, but continued to watch awestruck, and did nothing to stop it. the scars that were left on me are since gone, but the scars never healed on the inside. And because of that, You have “Broken Little Me”. I swore from that moment on I would do nothing but make others around me laugh, even if I had to hide what I was feeling inside, as long as I made others happy that shed a little light on me. As time progressed, I soon started to feel the effects of my trauma creeping ever so slowly like poison seeping through my veins. I started to hate myself for hiding it for so long, I started to hate everything around me and as everything started to spiral downwards, you came and you saved me from the depths of my despair. you showed me many things that I would not ever have come to terms with. Everyday I open my eyes to see that person I hold very dear to my heart. “But Why?” she asks… “Why do you treat me like this?” I don’t give her an answer. As I walk out of the door the reason is so clear in my mind: I’m broken. but just like you say: “No one will ever understand.” I’ve been driven on hatred for so long that the kindness in my heart has gone. I cant make anyone feel better when they are upset. I cant make someone smile when they cry. I lost the piece of my heart that everyone took advantage of. Now that its gone, all of you are begging for it back. It won’t come back until someone shows ME that THEY understand, and hear with their heart, not just their ears.
-Fallen Things & Broken Dreams
